Welcome to Korea, now contain these derelicts.

After two weeks of blurry jet lagged training, I got thrown into what we call Intensives.  These classes run each day for a month when the Korean kids have a break from their usual Korean school.  (I'm really, really glad my mom didn't make me go to school during my summer break, by the way.)  I was in charge of these three 40-minute long storybook classes.  Each class went through one book each week.  I love children's stories, and i generally like kids, but these classes were ridiculous.

Now I'm able to look back with a fondness, but back in the day (that would be August), these kiddos were shaving years off my life with their lovable rambunctious antics.

I had these kids first thing in the morning.  Su Hyun, Daniel, David, Amy, and Tony was out that week because he was hanging out in America.  Seriously.

Having this class first eased the blow the rest of the classes left.  In fact, the insanity gradually grew as each new class period begun.  These kids were good kids.  They listened, responded (for the most part), and the two girls were the sweetest.  In fact, I think I'd win the argument that Su Hyun is the best behaved girl in SLP.  I still see her in the halls occasionally, and she always beams at me and gives me some of the snack she has in her hand.

Class #2.  More kids, less teacher control, but more teacher apathy, too.  We had Robert Munsch stories for this class.  His books are great, but they do not last long when you're reading them.  They surely don't last for a whole week.  We watched lots of videos, played lots of games, and acted out the stories to take up time.  They loved acting out Something Good.  The girl in the pink dress, Michelle, loves attention, and, when everyone else pretended to be shy, she jumped into the lead role and won the hearts of the audience (myself).

Meet the terrors.
From top left going clockwise: Jason, Gundam, Oscar, Harry, and that's Andy in the middle.

Each of these classes had two other teachers while I was occupied with one.  All of us agreed.  We hated this class.  Yes, I sound like a terrible teacher.  The thing is, one on one, these kids aren't too terrible, but, put the together and they are the embodiment chaos.  One of the kids, James, is missing from our class photos.  I forget why he was absent, and I didn't care why he was absent, I was honestly just glad that there was one less boy to try to harness.

Every chance they'd get, they stuck out their fingers and pretended to shoot each other.  They made sound effects with their mouths and acted fairly realistically when they got shot with machine guns.  I never thought I'd be saying things like, "You can't shoot the teacher" and "No guns at the table!"  I certainly never thought I'd have to say them multiple times in 40 minutes.

I got to monitor the kids, not only for the storybook time, but also for a 20 free-for-all break and for their 40-minute lunch.  As soon as they were finished eating their food, they ran to the blocks, perfected their bazookas, and had at it.  If it wasn't war game, it was "James is a zombie."  I've heard a lot about how boys need to be boys, but I never thought they'd want to be boys ...like this ...all the time.  It was exhausting.

They would all be playing during every spare moment and also during class.  If you were listening outside my classroom door, you'd hear "Andy! Stop kicking Oscar!" "Oscar, pay attention, please."  "James! What did I tell you about guns at the table!" "Gundam, stop interrupting everybody!"  "Oscar, I need you to pay attention."  "James, speak up, please."  "Andy!  No sir!  Feet off the wall!"  "James, what the heck are you doing?!"  "Andy!  Stand outside until I tell you to come back in!"  "Oscar!  Pay! Attention!"
I swear, only 10 minutes of that class was anything close to learning English.

Would you believe it, though?  They each had their endearing qualities.  Now I love getting to see them in the hall on their way to their regular classes.  Gundam's constant interruptions make me smile to think how conversational and curious and engaging he is.  James taught me how to make the machine gun sound when I asked.  Andy was a wealth of entertainment with his painted fingernails, beach-wear shorts, and... a purse that his grandmother sent with him to school.  Oscar, well, he has a cute smile when he's not just staring into space with his mouth gaping open and his nose wrinkled up to keep his glasses on.  And James.  Always the sweetheart.  Always the first to sit nicely.  Always the one eager to help with dishing out lunch.  The kimchi lover.  Oh yes, he has my deepest friendship for being some kind of balance in that class.  He is still all boy, but there are glimmers of something else there.

Here's what I mean.  For lunch, we got containers of food, trays, spoons, and chopsticks.  I always let the boys help set things out, and they usually enjoyed getting to be a part of that, and I took the chance to rest my mind a little as I handled the big hot things and they squirreled around the room with the tongs and the kimchi.  Midway through the month, lunchtime started to get more chaotic when our lunch set started getting a couple smaller spoons mixed in with our silverware.  Apparently, these were baby spoons, and, apparently, Gundam would rather die than be left with one.  He pitched a winy, cry baby fit every time the baby spoon landed at his tray.  Near the beginning of this saga, I took the baby spoon because I didn't want to deal with the issue.  He remembered that and tried to switch with me on later occasions.  Here's where James stepped in.  He knew the spoons had been doled out.  He knew that it wasn't a big deal for Gundam to get the baby spoon.  But he knew that it was not right for the teacher to get the baby spoon.  He argued and fought with Gundam to make sure that I kept the regular spoon.  Did you catch that?  James defended my honor.  A 7-year-old!  Already practicing chivalry!  And already winning girls' hearts.

These pictures pretty much sum things up.

Intensives were a crazy time, but a good and usually fun experience.  I sure did come out of it with some great stories.

The joys of teaching ESL

When you're teaching kids who are learning English as their second language, you tend to see your native tongue in a different light.

For example,
I never new how much I love the word "prairie."

The best tip for expats in Korea and other sundries about living in Seoul

• I wanted to get to a dog cafe that I knew was somewhere around Yeoksam and Gangnam, but that was all the information I had.  Thankfully, I remembered something one of my friends had told me.  There was this magic number you could call to get in contact with someone who could help you with anything.  In English, no less.  With some minor internet digging, I found it. 120.  I called and, within 5 minutes, I had directions to and the name of the place I was going to, the physical address and phone number of the cafe, and a picture of the map that the awesome lady on the other line sent to my phone!
  If that's not being excellent to someone, I don't know what is.
  
  
• The dog cafe was pretty great, by the way.  An excellent fix for my severe pet separation disorder.  (I just miss her a lot.)  I'm planning on posting pictures as soon as Holly uploads them to facebook.
  
  
• It still makes me feel uncomfortable when I catch people staring at me.  I guess dark hair and fair skin isn't enough to blend in here.
  
  
• I am in awe of the Korean women and of how the wear high heels all the time.  It doesn't even stop them from running to catch the subway trains and the busses.
  
  
• Service.  Korean service.  This is getting extra things for free when you didn't pay for them.  Like the set of mandolin strings I got with the violin set I bought.  Like the pajeon* with the bibimbap* we ordered.  Like the beers with the sushimi we ate.  Or like the cotton pads with the nail polish remover I purchased.  It's always a nice surprise when it happens.
  
  
• This awkward interaction shown below still happens.  I don't really like it.

Comic by Luke Martin
via ROKetship, my  favorite source for humor about the expat life in Korea

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*pajeon- (파전)A delicious Korean dish like a fried pancake with green onions and other vegetables or meats mixed in
*bibimbap (비빔밥)- A Korean dish of rice, dried seaweed, carrots, beansprouts, egg, and other vegetables.  It's all mixed in together, and it's delicious.  My favorite is the dolsot bibimbap that brings the dish out in a hot stone bowl.  The egg isn't cooked all the way in this variation, and, when you mix it in with the rest of the food in the piping hot bowl, it finishes cooking while also running its buttery taste over everything.  It's my favorite Korean food.

Andong Maskdance Festival, Part 3: Myanmar tree bark sunblock and pineapple with doughnuts for breakfast

And here's the second day of our Andong Maskdance Festival trip!  We decided to go back and hit up the festival again.  I wasn't sure there'd be much more to do, but we had a full day and enjoyed every minute of it.  Also, there was a much better breakfast to be had there than the ramyen* from the jimjilbang*.  I had pineapple on a stick and Korean doughnuts filled with red bean paste.  It's so good, guys, I wish I could share some with you.

Kyla liked my aviators and how reflective they are.

On the way back to the Maskdance festival, we noticed lots of these large spiders.  Yes, that's my hand, and yes, I did touch it, just to say I did.

This was the large mask kite.  I thought there should have been some ceremony for its unfurling, but there were just a few camera men and us watching.

We found many, many large international masks to take pictures with.  This is Holly and I with the mask from Thailand.

Here are Kyla and Holly with the Native North American mask.  We were pretty sure this guy was from Canada, like Kyla.  She was pretty excited.

The Little Prince is rather popular here.  I've seen stationary and journals with his picture on them.  Here he is appropriately masked for the festival.  (Shrek was there, too, with a mask.)

I was enthralled by this lengthy choreographed Taekwondo performance.  These kids did so well!  I was very impressed by their energy and their excellence.  I could have watched them for hours.

Guess who else has a mask?  My hero!  I don't know why he's making the duck lips, though.  Oh, Korea...

This was a station where you could write messages on pieces of crepe paper and leave them in the breeze.  I'm not sure why, but I like the concept.

Andong Maskdance Festival, y'all!

I'm starting to worry about taking pictures again when I get back home to the States.  Will I be able to restrain the new reflex to make the peace sign?  Only time will tell.

There were walls of masks made by other people.  We were able to pick them up and play with them.  Holly and I make a lovely couple, no?

On our way out, we met an interpreter from Mannam International.  She took us back to their booth where we talked with other volunteers.  They are always so nice, these Mannam people.  They asked us about ourselves, gave us free temporary tattoos, took pictures with us and of us, and they had us write our names on this large map to show where we are from.

Holly put Colorado on the map.

Kyla's from Ontario.

Awesome possum!

"When lights unite, there is victory."  Mannam International rocks face.

These were some of the Korean foods for sale on the way out.  I'm pretty sure that's a shark fin sticking out of that one package above the others.  I do my very best to be a good guest in this hospitable country that has been so welcoming to me, but, I gotta say.  That kinda weirds me out.

And this reminded me of Puerto Rico.  "Yes, I'd like some pig on a spit for the road, please."

Here at the end, I'd like to highly recommend this event to anyone who's in Korea near the beginning of October.  It was so nice and refreshing to get outside of Seoul, and we had a great time meeting people and goofing off at the festival.  This was an excellent vacation, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.  Also, on a more personal note, it was wonderful getting to know Kyla and Holly better, too.

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Ramyen - Koraen ramen noodles: These things are SO much better than their American counterparts and there are so many different varieties!  A popular food, ramyen often has an entire aisle devoted to it in the supermarkets, and there is always some for sale in every convenience store.  I find them particularly delicious when an egg is mixed into the broth, egg drop style.  Yum!
Jimjilbang - A Korean bath house

Human Moment #72

This photo of my friend Ashley and I was taken at a Buddhist temple in Insadong.  We met the photographer, Craig Woods, just an hour before at a Buddhist English library.  We were there to see if Ashley could settle into the Buddhist community there.  She and I were perusing the books when this other gentleman finished his conversation with the Korean secretary, turned to us, and said, as if we were already friends, "How are you ladies today?"

The three of us chatted for what felt like an hour and only stopped when we realized the library closed 25 minutes ago.  We walked out and continued our conversation until our paths diverged.  Craig Woods had been so kind and helpful and friendly, I gave him a hug when we left.

We ended up bumping into his twice more as we wandered around Insadong, and he took this picture of us at the Buddhist Temple there.  I've gotten to see him a few more times since then at Korean class and other expat events.  We're always glad to see each other.

If I didn't have to work, I'd spend so much of my time walking around Seoul and talking to strangers.  There are so many!  I love Seoul, and I starting to think that I love cities in general because of all the people there are to talk to.

Andong Maskdance Festival, Part 2: The jimjilbang of which I have no pictures

The is the second installment of a three part retelling of our Andong adventure.  Unfortunately, this part won't have much  for pictures, but there's an excellent reason.  See, this part takes place in a jimjilbang.

This was my first time in the Korean public bath house. Holly loves them.  Kyla isn't too keen on them.  I have mixed feelings.  On our way to the jimjilbang, Holly was talking about the soaking and the scrubbing she was looking forward to.  I had to start explaining why I wasn't going to get naked that night, and I clung to the excuse that I haven't shaved my legs in over a week.

So, no bath sharing for me, but here's what did happen.

We signed in in the ritzy lobby after we locked our shoes in a cabinet by the door.  The receptionist gave us each a set of loose pajamas, and we set off to explore the 5 storied building.  We needed to put our things away, but neither of us are particularly good at reading Korea.  We gingerly krept to the door we hoped would lead to the women's floor.  Thankfully, we chose right.

We first walked into an open area with a small store, two large rectangular benches, a TV, and a large mirror.  The store sold underwear, sandals, candies, and small things like this.  A few yards away from the story (and its cranky tender) began the rows of lockers on one side, and the bath-prep area on the other.  Going into the bath-prep side, which was just an open area covered in astro turf, you could choose to enter the bathing room or head to the post-bath room.  This area had blow dryers, fans, Q-tips, and counters.  Beyond that was the bathroom.  Throughout these rooms, yes, I'm going to say it, there were naked Korea women.  "Everywhere" sounds extreme, but, you'd have to close your eyes not to see any.  After the first 10 seconds, though, it wasn't awkward at all.  It's quite easy to keep your eyes averted, and Holly, Kyla, and I didn't have much business in this room anyway.

We headed up to the large open room where people slept on mats and block shaped pillows. There was a small restaurant off the side, and there was a small food shop inside the room.  There was also a large TV which didn't seem to bother those already sleeping.  I was quite tired after the festival, and I felt like I could have gone to sleep at 10, but we brought out the Dutch Blitz cards and got the energy flowing.

A few Korean men stopped by to watch us play, and one small girl asked in a very good American accent, "Is this a card game?"  After about 10 minutes, an American guy showed up and asked how the game was played.  We invited him and the three girls he was with to join us, and we went on for probably 45 minutes before we decided to get some sleep along with the rest of the 100+ people in the room.

Kyla, Holly, and I went to another floor where there were smaller, darker rooms.  We settled in the DVD room with probably 10 other Koreans.  I had brought a sweater to cuddle and my headphones so I could use the white noise app on my iPod.  Even with these niceties, I literally got only one blink of sleep by the time 3 am crept up.

You see, when Korean men fall asleep, they turn into dragons.  They snore incredibly loudly, the jabber in their sleep, they roll onto your mat, and they kick.  Even with my iPod turned as loud as I could stand, I heard their breathing and their snoring.  It also got very hot in the room.  I was miserable.  I did everything I could to calm my mind.  I prayed a lot.  But still, I was awake.

At 3 AM, I gave up.  I pulled my mat out of the room and into the cool, quiet hallway where I set up camp.  Then, two Korean men walked into the hallway using their outside voices and making me groan.  No sleeping was to be had for me.  I got up, offered my spot to a man who had been looking around for a place to sleep, and went down to the women's room.

I hunkered down in the post-bath area with my journal and wrote about the day until a Korean lady started speaking to me.  I couldn't understand her, but I had been taking Korean lessons, so I threw out the only phrases I knew.
"I am an English teacher."
"I am American."

We shared our ages and our names and then she motioned to another lady who had just come in.  (Both of these women were wearing clothes, by the way.  I was extremely thankful.)  This second lady knew very much English, so we were able to communicate a substantial amount.  Besides sharing personal information, she gave me an hour long Korean lesson.  She taught me the parts of the body, how to count, and some other words.  "Sun" is "Heh" in Korean.  I'm not sure why, but that makes perfect sense to me, and I'll never forget it.

The time was around 6 or 7 am when this new friend left my company.  I wrote a bit more before I felt sleepy all over again.  I knew it would have been a hopeless cause to try to get some shut eye, though, so I picked up Wuthering Heights and read almost 100 pages before Holly came down to say she was ready to begin the day after a good soak.


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They say the baths are luxurious and the scrubs are divine.  It's going to take a lot of gumption, but I think I want to put the full jimjilbang experience on my Korean bucket list. 

Via Wishbone Clever

On being a Christian, being nice, and being happy

I am tired of being known as a good person.

Because being good isn’t good enough.

Being good isn’t what I am after.

I am after a life lived to the fullest. A life lived to glorify God.

And you get that by laying your life down for others. You can’t pick that up in a bookstore, and you’re not always going to get it in church on a Sunday morning .

Max Dubinsky consistently writes beautiful, poignant truth.

Check out the rest of his post Stop Serving Breakfast in Bed.

When we are redeemed, we are called to righteousness, not to merely being good.  If we were around when Jesus walked the earth, I don't think "good" is how we'd first describe Him.  His example includes (though is surely not limited to) speaking love and truth, doing what's right, calling out the pharisees who were leading astray His loved ones, and harshly rebuking those who were deceiving His children.  There was also that one time when he made His own whip and ran out the traders who had turned the temple into a flea market.

As Nicole puts it so well in her highly recommended post, The Dangerous Christian,
"Niceness is not a command."
We aren't called to be sweet, we're called to be like Christ.  We're called to love to the point of dying for others, and, sometimes, that can be brutal, cussin' difficult, and straight up insane.  "It is a radical, risk-taking, unconventional, challenging, hard-to-swallow-at-times love that brings people to Christ." 

May this be the love I live.